Tim: Doc, I just feel like this relationship is over.

Dr. Holly: Why do you say that?

Tim: She just doesn’t have that spark anymore. Her new job keeps her so busy and she works with the top guys at the company.

Dr. Holly: Perhaps you feel threatened?

Tim: Well, maybe.

Dr. Holly: The reason you feel the spark is gone is because any good relationship starts with yourself. If the relationship with yourself is strong and healthy you can be sure to make decisions that will be in the interest of the relationship, not just yourself. Right now you are lacking a sense of safety.

Tim: Yeah, but I feel strangely unemotional. I am really serious about ending it.

Dr. Holly: Have you told her this?

Tim: No, but I think if I end it I will get my personal power back.

Dr. Holly: Personal power comes from within. If you don’t feel safe anymore, the first desire is to fight, take flight or freeze. It sounds to me like instead of communicating your feelings, you want to run. Instead, you should look how your sense of power is internal. You see, Tim, relationships are fluid and require a lot of work, but there is nothing more important than having one where the communication between you and your partner is open and honest. After that, you can build intimacy.